In order to maintain a basic sense of sanity while coping
with constant illness I spend a lot of time working with my mind. Happiness is
nothing other than a state of mind and therefore it’s something we actually
have control over – it’s up to us.
[i]
If we pinned happiness to external circumstance then it would be no more stable
than a house of cards in the wind. By learning how to work skillfully with our
minds we can experience genuine happiness and have more resilience for handling
stress.
Habitual tendencies
We use concepts and language often without realizing it to
fuel our emotional states, as if we have to keep reminding ourselves why it is
that we’re anxious, frustrated or afraid. We tell ourselves the same old
stories over and over again and rarely give our mind a rest. Like a child
poking a stick into a hornet’s nest we’re continually stirring up our mind,
making ourselves unnecessarily miserable.
When we look straight at our experience without the weighty
baggage of our usual narrative we can start to see that things aren’t as
claustrophobic, solid or substantial as they seem. A sense of space opens up
within the very experience of worry, anger, or fear. When we drop the labels and
mental chitchat, even if only for a few seconds, we’re free to watch our mind
and to let the energy of our mind settle on its own. When our mind is calm we
are able to be relaxed and to experience a basic sense of well-being.
Calm abiding
Because we’re so used to our habitual ways of relating to
people and situations we don’t notice when our minds are spinning out of
control. By the time we do notice we’re in the midst of a full-blown drama:
frustration has flared into anger; worry has turned into paralyzing fear and
suddenly we’re completely off balance, unable to control our whirling thoughts
and feelings.
When our minds are overwhelmed by negative emotions even the
simplest things are difficult and cause additional suffering. When we have a
calm and peaceful mind everything is more workable and even difficult
challenges are manageable.
The best way to cultivate a calm mind is through the
practice of mindfulness. By practicing mindfulness we know what our minds are
doing: we can see when our mind is agitated or aggressive, excited or
overwhelmed, sad or happy. By cultivating mindfulness we get to know our mind
in all of its states. When we know our mind well and are able to maintain some
degree of mindfulness then we aren't so easily ambushed by negative emotional
state or carried away by positive ones.
As a means to develop mindful awareness Buddhism teaches the
meditation practice of shamatha, a Sanskrit word translated as “calm abiding”.
In shamatha practice the breath is used as a focal object to give the mind
something to focus on. We simply follow the breath in and out as we breath.
Each time we notice that we've lost our mindfulness and that our minds have
been chasing after thoughts we let those thoughts go and return to watching the
breath. We simply drop the thoughts without any judgment about “good thoughts”
or “bad thoughts” and return our attention to the breath. By practicing this
technique we develop concentration and the ability to maintain a calm mind even
in the midst of extreme situations and emotional states.
Prajna
Mindfulness is a powerful and profound practice and can help us deal with both stress and physical pain but according to
Buddhism it isn't enough to truly free us from suffering. To experience genuine
freedom from suffering we need to develop prajna, or wisdom – the wisdom that
sees how things really are. We’re constantly bamboozled by our belief in
external appearances; we believe in our dualistic perceptions of subject and
object, perceiver and perceived. But that apparent dualism is more like a habit
of mind and not how things truly are.
One of the simplest examples used in Buddhism to describe
the true nature of phenomena is the reflection of the moon on water. On a clear
night with a full moon we can see a bright, vivid, luminous and convincingly
real image of the moon shining on a still lake. The reflected moon does not
exist in any substantial way but is the mere appearance of a moon that arises
from causes and conditions that have come together: a clear night, a full moon;
a still lake.
Likewise, everything we think, feel or perceive with our
senses – taste, touch, sound, sight, smell – arises from the coming together of
various causes and conditions. Although this is obvious we rarely think about
the implications, which are utterly profound: our entire phenomenal world including
the “I” or “self” has no permanent, unchanging, or independent identity.
Because all phenomena are dependently arisen they are no
more substantial than a reflection of the moon on water. When we can actually
see how it is the all phenomena are vividly appearing yet empty in essence that
is the birth of wisdom in our minds. When we truly understand interdependence
we have the chance to free ourselves from suffering because we realize that
whatever appears is just like a reflection. Whatever we experience is
illusion-like. At that point we quit grasping or clinging to dualistic
appearances of sadness and happiness, friend and enemy, illness and health,
etc. and we experience a profound equanimity.
Note: The way we develop the prajna that understands and
sees interdependence is through the practice of Vipashyana or analytical
meditation. Shamatha and Vipashyana are best learned at a meditation center
where one can receive instruction from a teacher with experience in these
profound methods of working with the mind.
[i] Certain
physical conditions, like depression caused by chemical imbalances, can make it
more challenging to experience happy states of mind. But knowing how to work
with the mind in a skillful way can still be beneficial and help alleviate
suffering.
